A conversation that cheered up my day =)

Him: can u morning call me tml? i cant seem to wake up in time lately when u r not around.
Her: haha ok..so i've another 用处 as an alarm clock (jokingly)
Him: 你不是拿来用的，是拿来疼的!
Her: Smiling in silence.....

Found this photo that i took few days back in my phone..been so long since i tied up my hair =P

Grandma passed away last sat..i was feeling sick..infection plus down with a fever so headed to the clinic around evening time..my mum called to break the news when i was waiting for the doctor asking me to go back home asap..rushed home after the consultation..wake was at my hse void deck..been so busy & tired these few days..but appreciate that alot of frens dropped by even though i dint inform alot pple about it..my body is falling apart..signs of me falling very sick soon =( i wish i can be healthier..

Quarrelled with bro yesterday bcos of mum but in the end me & mum not talking..sigh..he broke her heart, she broke mine..sometimes i think i need to train my heart to be stronger to take all these..luckily he came over around dinner time to acc me til 10+..cos he saw i wasnt really in a good state & i really needed company so he stayed til quite late bah..think i was very cranky cos i was feeling sick plus not enuf sleep..

Reached office this morning saw a wrapped packet on my desk..attached with a note saying "To my 亲爱的lao popo, I love u..muacks muacks muacks!" It was 2 bottles of chicken essence from Ah Ching..cos she noe i m drained & tired..hahahah so sweet of her =)

Took leave to enjoy the long weekend since i still have a few days of leave to clear..going back to work tml but ever since i noe about that issue regarding her, office dun feel like home anymore..sigh..how to get motivated to go work..this is the 1st time i felt this way about work ever since i joined the company..i never dread going to work up till now..his decision to prove his worth wrecked the whole dept's morale..

My brother is very funny..he came into my room juz to show me a link about a bear..its so kelian & adorable that i posted in on FB to share..hahaha..too cute to be ignored..awww..

Jan intro me a variety show "Wild Bunny" featuring 2PM..i had a good laugh at the show & i think i've not laughed that loud ever since EHB of Super Junior..esp the part where they did a parody mtv on Brown Eyed Girls [Abracadabra]..they named themselves as Dirty Eyed Girls LOL..I totally lost it..Jokwon is extremely funny!! the impact was so huge that i keep having the images of that parody in my head hahahah..i cant stop laughing, even my mum commented that she's going to send me to Institute of Mental Health at the rate i m going =P sometimes we juz need this in life to lighten things up isnt it.. *wink*

He stuffed the things he bought for me from his trip into the pillow case that i m sleeping on & pretended nothing had happened..but i was so oblivious about it till after some time he had to hint that something was pressing against his arm under the pillow =D hahah..that was so sweet & funny..but i appreciated it alot..keke..yeah pressies~ hahahah..

I love my new toy..even though i m broke after making such a purchase, its worth it.. =)

"ok..dunt think too much..any problem i will be with you de.."
That was what pulled me thru a tough weekend..

Visited my grandma in the hospital..when we reached, the nurse was changing the dressings for her wounds..i saw her covered with needles & tubes all over..her body filled with sores & leisions..part of her skin were teared to a point that i can see her flesh..she was unconscious but her eyes kept twitching when we were calling her..my uncle said that she might want to open her eyes to see us but she could not..my heart clenched like nobody's business upon hearing that..eyes became watery but tried hard to control not to let the tears flow out..
At a point when the nurse was trying to shift her, the life support system was accidentally disconnected..for that few secs i can hear the sound of her breathing turned weird..it's a horrid feeling to see her in such agony =~(

Dad & uncles were discussing about her condition..n somehow talked about the funeral & stuff..listening to things like that really felt heavy & helpless..but from what the doctor said, it could be anytime soon..so they r juz mentally prepared..i think i m not good at handling death issue, especially when it involves family..

On our way back from the hospital, me & bro actually had some talk..about his work & relationship..he actually opened up telling me how he feels..was surprised cos my bro is not someone who'll share his stuff with the family..i told him how i felt & my views towards the issues..he seemed to listen & concur to what i said..i hope those words really got into his mind.. we should talk more hahaha..

Peiyun called to ask if wanna meet up to have coffee together so i headed to Yishun to meet..dint stay out too late as i was very tired..was worried about my grandma issue oso..my brother did a very sweet thing..he offered to come Yishun to pick me up even though he was already back home lazing in his room =)

Juz yesterday i was blogging about how negative my whole week has been..all bad things seemed to come at one go..surrounded by bad news everyday..i had a worse day today...

This morning i got petrified by a huge moth on the way to the bus stop that i dropped my breakfast & mp3 player on the floor (yesh i m freaking scared of moth)..after that got into the bus but expressway was in a super massive jam due to car accidents..the jam was all the way frm SLE to TPE..the bus was moving by inches & the whole bus journey was a freaking 2.5hrs trip! i was super late for work..as office atmosphere has been tensed recently, me being so late was a big hoohah..n almost ended up in dispute with my team leader..i understand he has his difficulties oso but the whole thing making me feeling lousy..

Juz before knocking off my mum called to inform that my grandma has slipped into coma & the doctor said that she might go anytime, so asked us to be mentally prepared..juz not long ago she was diagnosed with brain tumour, however decided not to let her go thru the surgery cos it was too dangerous for her age..but at that point of time she was said to have another 6mths more to live (that was only 1 mth ago!) it came to me as a shock as i dint expect it to be that fast..

Too many things came crashing all at one go..too many negative things happening lately..its really one after another..to me, to the pple around me..
Out of a sudden, i dun feel a thing now..this is scary...

This week has been a tough one for me..since last week i noticed rash on my face but it was mild so i decided to ignore it..but from the start of this wk, the rash got worse n by the time i realized my whole face is covered with itchy rashes..the itch was so bad that i couldnt stop scratching..til a point my face bleed from the scratching..everytime i look at myself in the mirror i feel very frustrated..cos my complexion became uneven & there r patches of skin peeling =~( will i be disfigured? feel so worried abt this..pls dun leave scars..

New head of dept decided to do something drastic & my best fren at work was the one being "axed" =( got the news yesterday evening..was v worried for her so decided to stay & acc her til her bf came n pick her up frm work..it dampened our morale at work actually..sigh..

A fren's brother is dying due to brain cancer..he's only 30 yrs old & was diagnosed with it last year..now he cant rem anything that happened more than 5mins back n cant take care of himself..doctor said he might go anytime..so now, the whole family is juz 'waiting for his death' which is so sad & helpless..theres nothing else they can do now..
Life is fragile & anything can happen..cherish wat we have now & live life to the fullest..its really important to be happy so as to have lesser regrets the day u leave this world...

Ok i noe this post is filled with angst..i juz needed an outlet to ease how i m feeling now..women under stress is not immediately concerned with finding solutions to her probs, but rather seek relieve by expressing herself & being understood..i need a tight warm hug from the one i love to tell me everything's alrite..i need it now..

Thanks to the both of them, i got quite a good deal for the purchase..need to really thank them for running up & down helping me to get it done..at least now i wont feel so frustrated using computer at home le..while transfering my stuff over, i was browsing thru some photos, cant seem to find one with smile, felt abit upsetting but decided not to get affected over things tat i cant control..but to be frank, when i saw those FB photos that day i really dun feel good..

Went for my routine medical checkup on sat..everything seems fine except tat my blood pressure hit a new low haha..normal person BP is 120/80 but mine is only 78/52..no wonder i've been feeling giddy & nausea often lately..the reading is in a dangerously low range..i've to be extra careful not to faint in the streets..LOL

Think its the throat inflammation medication, my whole face is filled with small rashes! omg i m disfigured =~( worse is the itch is quite bad tat i've to keep scratching my face thruout the day..argh..pls let the it go away soon..it's awful..

I think all of us should cherish what we have..recently i've heard alot stories from frens..most of them r regrets tat when they were attached they took the partners for granted & did things to hurt their partners..when they realized the one beside is the one they truly love & start to cherish them, most of the time its too late..their partners left for good..they lost the chance..i wonder why most pple have to go thru the agony of losing then they'll realized the importance of the one beside them..i can only say oppotunity doesnt come knocking twice..

I slept at 3am last nite so i m feeling super tired now..plus the drench in the rain during lunch making me feel unwell again..think i better not sleep too late today..need to take care of my own body..mayb the crankiness is bcos of insufficient rest..oops..
He msged me today from his overseas business trip to tell me he miss me lots =)

Janice sent me a personality test..here are the results..

You are a inspiring, interactive, supportive, and steady.
You probably like to spend time working and interacting with people. If our estimate is right, you would rather help someone than work alone, and you probably don't like conflict or confrontation. We're guessing that you tend to speak in a very kind and friendly way with almost everyone. These are all great attributes. Remember, though, that sometimes you need to "buckle down" and get some work done rather than only spend time with others.

General Characteristics: Enthusiastic. Trusting; Optimistic. Persuasive; Talkative. Impulsive; Emotional. Good listener; Team player. Possessive. Steady; Predictable. Understanding; Friendly.

Value to Team: Creative problem solver. Great encourager. Motivates others to achieve. Positive sense of humor. Negotiates conflicts; peace maker. Reliable and dependable. Loyal team worker. Compliant towards authority. Good listener, patient and empathetic. Good at reconciling conflicts.

Possible Weaknesses: More concerned with popularity than tangible results. Inattentive to detail. Overuses gestures and facial expressions. Tends to listen only when it's convenient. Resists change. Takes a long time to adjust to change. Holds a grudge; sensitive to criticism. Difficulty establishing priorities.

Greatest Fear: Rejection. Loss of security.

Motivated By: Flattery, praise, popularity, and acceptance. A friendly environment. Freedom from many rules and regulations. Other people available to handle details. Recognition for loyalty and dependability. Safety and security. No sudden changes in procedure or lifestyle. Activities that can be started and finished.

Ideal Environment: Practical procedures. Few conflicts and arguments. Freedom from controls and details. A forum to express ideas. Group activities in professional and social environments. Practical procedures and systems. Stability and predictability. Tasks that can be completed at one time. Few conflicts and arguments. A team atmosphere.

Personal Growth Areas : Weigh the pros and cons before making a decision; be less impulsive. Be more results oriented. Exercise control over your actions, words, and emotions. Focus more on details and facts. Remember to slow down your pace for other team members. Talk less; listen more. Consider and evaluate ideas from other team members. Concentrate on following through with tasks. Be more open to change. Be more direct in your interactions. Focus on overall goals of the team rather than specific procedures. Deal with confrontation constructively. Develop more flexibility. Increase pace to accomplish goals. Show more initiative. Work at expressing thoughts, opinions, and feelings.

Been sick since sat evening =~( feverish + cough + flu..my whole body seems to be breaking apart..everytime i sneeze or cough my whole body ached..n the headache is killing me..cough til a point i feel like puking..haiz..i need to see a doctor real soon..

Had problems waking up this morning, but forced myself out of bed cos my team leader is on leave today..i need to go to work..when i got out of my bed, my mummy was already awake waiting for me to get up so she can prepare breakfast for me..made me sandwich & oat cereal..so sweet rite.. 世上只有妈妈好~ hahahah..love my mama =D she actually slept v late cos watched soccer matches but specially woke up early juz to make sure i had breakfast before going to work =) plus i think she's in a good mood cos Arsenal won last nite LOL..

I think i really gave others the impression of dunno how to take care of myself is it..both Shir & Pauline offered to bring me to the doctor..hahaha..anyway think i made frens worried *paiseh*..will go see a doctor after work today..i m really feeling super xinku..hope its not anything serious...

Felt alone & crappy for the whole of wkend cos was sick at home..but the acts of everyone today gave me the warmth again =)

Today is the big day of Yulei..invited us to her wedding lunch in JB..initially i was supposed to be going in with PY but her mama is feeling unwell (hope things will be alrite for her) so ended up i went in to JB all by myself..actually its kinda scary esp when i m all dressed up..but decided to go ahead cos i wan to be there to witness Yulei's bliss =) so i went ahead alone til msia custom to wait for Siewyee to pick me up as she stays near msia custom..had a tough journey bcos of the jam & weather =( we were already late for the function yet we missed the junction ended up driving a super long way to find another U-turn hahahahah..how blur can we get?

The wedding venue is at Grand Straits Garden which is located along Danga Bay (how the hell did we missed it?) but we finally reached juz before the lunch banquet starts..saw alot of familiar faces but cant recall the names hahahah..but it was interesting to catch up with old frens..n some of them i've not seen since sec sch graduation!! had alot of catching up updating one another about pple we know..i realized alot of my sec sch frens got married this yr (maybe 09 is a good yr for marriage) scary~

During the conversation, they were talking abt me in the past & HJ mentioned "我们的小公主" lol hahahahah..think i was really pampered when i was young by alot of pple =P but hearing that now sounds funny..hmmm can i still be pampered like a princess? =P hehe..

Reached home with a bad headache & i think i m falling sick real soon..but instead of resting i m online loading pics on FB & watching clips on YouTube =X saw the latest concert clips of Super Junior..their Super Junior Premium live in Japan..i was smiling to myself when watching the clips =D for the whole of my life, other than andy lau, Super Junior is the only one that i'll go gaga for..they r simply fantastic!! *fighting~*
Anyone able to get their concert dvd for me?

Juz took panadol & cough syrup..think i better rest soon..my body seem to be breaking down..i really need quality rest..oh ya i have not rub my wound on the leg..argh!!

Had dept lunch at PizzaHut today..had alot fun making jokes abt Ris Low (boomz) =P hehe..ate alot..i m feeling so freaking full now..to make it worse i feel super sleepy..yawn~i really think i m eating too much..need to control..hahah..i dun wan to become fat =( i used to be so slim haiz..sob sob..but i juz cant stop snacking!!
I seriously need plenty plenty of sleep & alot alot of excercise!!

After rubbing the wound for me,we had a long talk last nite..about alot of stuff..i actually like the feeling of pillow talking when being hugged..cos felt relaxed in this way..he said he realized he hasnt brought me out for a long time why izzit that i dun feel angry abt it..think he felt bad for neglecting me for work..even suggested we should go clubbing someday juz the 2 of us hahah (i miss dancing)..told me that he appreciates me for being nice to him & the understandings i have for him when he need to entertain customers,go overseas,focus on work,etc..told me he really cares alot for me & loves me, juz that he doesnt express it out..he already made up his mind that i m the one..i m glad to hear all these bcos i needed constant assurances to keep me going..
So the conversation led to something that his dad asked him in the morning..he casually mentioned before but we dint went into details..so was surprised when he popped the issue again for discussion..is he really ready?

Anyway no concrete conclusion for the nite..think will need to talk abt it again when we r not so tired..he said that we influenced each other alot for past few yrs..i noe i changed alot bcos of him but i dint noe i influenced him as well..but i think positive influences r good lah..oso said that i m the only one who can handle his temperament (actually i agree hahaha no other woman can handle him as well as i do) =P
Somehow we mentioned abt how we met & i think its funny yet sweet to think back of the past hahah..he actually remember the details too =) about the purchasing of rivets & stuff..hahah..those were the days..all along i thought he forgot alot of the memories we shared..i m glad to noe that he dint =)
Please let the bliss be consistent & lasting~