Juz yesterday i was blogging about how negative my whole week has been..all bad things seemed to come at one go..surrounded by bad news everyday..i had a worse day today...

This morning i got petrified by a huge moth on the way to the bus stop that i dropped my breakfast & mp3 player on the floor (yesh i m freaking scared of moth)..after that got into the bus but expressway was in a super massive jam due to car accidents..the jam was all the way frm SLE to TPE..the bus was moving by inches & the whole bus journey was a freaking 2.5hrs trip! i was super late for work..as office atmosphere has been tensed recently, me being so late was a big hoohah..n almost ended up in dispute with my team leader..i understand he has his difficulties oso but the whole thing making me feeling lousy..

Juz before knocking off my mum called to inform that my grandma has slipped into coma & the doctor said that she might go anytime, so asked us to be mentally prepared..juz not long ago she was diagnosed with brain tumour, however decided not to let her go thru the surgery cos it was too dangerous for her age..but at that point of time she was said to have another 6mths more to live (that was only 1 mth ago!) it came to me as a shock as i dint expect it to be that fast..

Too many things came crashing all at one go..too many negative things happening lately..its really one after another..to me, to the pple around me..
Out of a sudden, i dun feel a thing now..this is scary...

This week has been a tough one for me..since last week i noticed rash on my face but it was mild so i decided to ignore it..but from the start of this wk, the rash got worse n by the time i realized my whole face is covered with itchy rashes..the itch was so bad that i couldnt stop scratching..til a point my face bleed from the scratching..everytime i look at myself in the mirror i feel very frustrated..cos my complexion became uneven & there r patches of skin peeling =~( will i be disfigured? feel so worried abt this..pls dun leave scars..

New head of dept decided to do something drastic & my best fren at work was the one being "axed" =( got the news yesterday evening..was v worried for her so decided to stay & acc her til her bf came n pick her up frm work..it dampened our morale at work actually..sigh..

A fren's brother is dying due to brain cancer..he's only 30 yrs old & was diagnosed with it last year..now he cant rem anything that happened more than 5mins back n cant take care of himself..doctor said he might go anytime..so now, the whole family is juz 'waiting for his death' which is so sad & helpless..theres nothing else they can do now..
Life is fragile & anything can happen..cherish wat we have now & live life to the fullest..its really important to be happy so as to have lesser regrets the day u leave this world...

Ok i noe this post is filled with angst..i juz needed an outlet to ease how i m feeling now..women under stress is not immediately concerned with finding solutions to her probs, but rather seek relieve by expressing herself & being understood..i need a tight warm hug from the one i love to tell me everything's alrite..i need it now..

Thanks to the both of them, i got quite a good deal for the purchase..need to really thank them for running up & down helping me to get it done..at least now i wont feel so frustrated using computer at home le..while transfering my stuff over, i was browsing thru some photos, cant seem to find one with smile, felt abit upsetting but decided not to get affected over things tat i cant control..but to be frank, when i saw those FB photos that day i really dun feel good..

Went for my routine medical checkup on sat..everything seems fine except tat my blood pressure hit a new low haha..normal person BP is 120/80 but mine is only 78/52..no wonder i've been feeling giddy & nausea often lately..the reading is in a dangerously low range..i've to be extra careful not to faint in the streets..LOL

Think its the throat inflammation medication, my whole face is filled with small rashes! omg i m disfigured =~( worse is the itch is quite bad tat i've to keep scratching my face thruout the day..argh..pls let the it go away soon..it's awful..

I think all of us should cherish what we have..recently i've heard alot stories from frens..most of them r regrets tat when they were attached they took the partners for granted & did things to hurt their partners..when they realized the one beside is the one they truly love & start to cherish them, most of the time its too late..their partners left for good..they lost the chance..i wonder why most pple have to go thru the agony of losing then they'll realized the importance of the one beside them..i can only say oppotunity doesnt come knocking twice..

I slept at 3am last nite so i m feeling super tired now..plus the drench in the rain during lunch making me feel unwell again..think i better not sleep too late today..need to take care of my own body..mayb the crankiness is bcos of insufficient rest..oops..
He msged me today from his overseas business trip to tell me he miss me lots =)

Janice sent me a personality test..here are the results..

You are a inspiring, interactive, supportive, and steady.
You probably like to spend time working and interacting with people. If our estimate is right, you would rather help someone than work alone, and you probably don't like conflict or confrontation. We're guessing that you tend to speak in a very kind and friendly way with almost everyone. These are all great attributes. Remember, though, that sometimes you need to "buckle down" and get some work done rather than only spend time with others.

General Characteristics: Enthusiastic. Trusting; Optimistic. Persuasive; Talkative. Impulsive; Emotional. Good listener; Team player. Possessive. Steady; Predictable. Understanding; Friendly.

Value to Team: Creative problem solver. Great encourager. Motivates others to achieve. Positive sense of humor. Negotiates conflicts; peace maker. Reliable and dependable. Loyal team worker. Compliant towards authority. Good listener, patient and empathetic. Good at reconciling conflicts.

Possible Weaknesses: More concerned with popularity than tangible results. Inattentive to detail. Overuses gestures and facial expressions. Tends to listen only when it's convenient. Resists change. Takes a long time to adjust to change. Holds a grudge; sensitive to criticism. Difficulty establishing priorities.

Greatest Fear: Rejection. Loss of security.

Motivated By: Flattery, praise, popularity, and acceptance. A friendly environment. Freedom from many rules and regulations. Other people available to handle details. Recognition for loyalty and dependability. Safety and security. No sudden changes in procedure or lifestyle. Activities that can be started and finished.

Ideal Environment: Practical procedures. Few conflicts and arguments. Freedom from controls and details. A forum to express ideas. Group activities in professional and social environments. Practical procedures and systems. Stability and predictability. Tasks that can be completed at one time. Few conflicts and arguments. A team atmosphere.

Personal Growth Areas : Weigh the pros and cons before making a decision; be less impulsive. Be more results oriented. Exercise control over your actions, words, and emotions. Focus more on details and facts. Remember to slow down your pace for other team members. Talk less; listen more. Consider and evaluate ideas from other team members. Concentrate on following through with tasks. Be more open to change. Be more direct in your interactions. Focus on overall goals of the team rather than specific procedures. Deal with confrontation constructively. Develop more flexibility. Increase pace to accomplish goals. Show more initiative. Work at expressing thoughts, opinions, and feelings.

Been sick since sat evening =~( feverish + cough + flu..my whole body seems to be breaking apart..everytime i sneeze or cough my whole body ached..n the headache is killing me..cough til a point i feel like puking..haiz..i need to see a doctor real soon..

Had problems waking up this morning, but forced myself out of bed cos my team leader is on leave today..i need to go to work..when i got out of my bed, my mummy was already awake waiting for me to get up so she can prepare breakfast for me..made me sandwich & oat cereal..so sweet rite.. 世上只有妈妈好~ hahahah..love my mama =D she actually slept v late cos watched soccer matches but specially woke up early juz to make sure i had breakfast before going to work =) plus i think she's in a good mood cos Arsenal won last nite LOL..

I think i really gave others the impression of dunno how to take care of myself is it..both Shir & Pauline offered to bring me to the doctor..hahaha..anyway think i made frens worried *paiseh*..will go see a doctor after work today..i m really feeling super xinku..hope its not anything serious...

Felt alone & crappy for the whole of wkend cos was sick at home..but the acts of everyone today gave me the warmth again =)

Today is the big day of Yulei..invited us to her wedding lunch in JB..initially i was supposed to be going in with PY but her mama is feeling unwell (hope things will be alrite for her) so ended up i went in to JB all by myself..actually its kinda scary esp when i m all dressed up..but decided to go ahead cos i wan to be there to witness Yulei's bliss =) so i went ahead alone til msia custom to wait for Siewyee to pick me up as she stays near msia custom..had a tough journey bcos of the jam & weather =( we were already late for the function yet we missed the junction ended up driving a super long way to find another U-turn hahahahah..how blur can we get?

The wedding venue is at Grand Straits Garden which is located along Danga Bay (how the hell did we missed it?) but we finally reached juz before the lunch banquet starts..saw alot of familiar faces but cant recall the names hahahah..but it was interesting to catch up with old frens..n some of them i've not seen since sec sch graduation!! had alot of catching up updating one another about pple we know..i realized alot of my sec sch frens got married this yr (maybe 09 is a good yr for marriage) scary~

During the conversation, they were talking abt me in the past & HJ mentioned "我们的小公主" lol hahahahah..think i was really pampered when i was young by alot of pple =P but hearing that now sounds funny..hmmm can i still be pampered like a princess? =P hehe..

Reached home with a bad headache & i think i m falling sick real soon..but instead of resting i m online loading pics on FB & watching clips on YouTube =X saw the latest concert clips of Super Junior..their Super Junior Premium live in Japan..i was smiling to myself when watching the clips =D for the whole of my life, other than andy lau, Super Junior is the only one that i'll go gaga for..they r simply fantastic!! *fighting~*
Anyone able to get their concert dvd for me?

Juz took panadol & cough syrup..think i better rest soon..my body seem to be breaking down..i really need quality rest..oh ya i have not rub my wound on the leg..argh!!

Had dept lunch at PizzaHut today..had alot fun making jokes abt Ris Low (boomz) =P hehe..ate alot..i m feeling so freaking full now..to make it worse i feel super sleepy..yawn~i really think i m eating too much..need to control..hahah..i dun wan to become fat =( i used to be so slim haiz..sob sob..but i juz cant stop snacking!!
I seriously need plenty plenty of sleep & alot alot of excercise!!

After rubbing the wound for me,we had a long talk last nite..about alot of stuff..i actually like the feeling of pillow talking when being hugged..cos felt relaxed in this way..he said he realized he hasnt brought me out for a long time why izzit that i dun feel angry abt it..think he felt bad for neglecting me for work..even suggested we should go clubbing someday juz the 2 of us hahah (i miss dancing)..told me that he appreciates me for being nice to him & the understandings i have for him when he need to entertain customers,go overseas,focus on work,etc..told me he really cares alot for me & loves me, juz that he doesnt express it out..he already made up his mind that i m the one..i m glad to hear all these bcos i needed constant assurances to keep me going..
So the conversation led to something that his dad asked him in the morning..he casually mentioned before but we dint went into details..so was surprised when he popped the issue again for discussion..is he really ready?

Anyway no concrete conclusion for the nite..think will need to talk abt it again when we r not so tired..he said that we influenced each other alot for past few yrs..i noe i changed alot bcos of him but i dint noe i influenced him as well..but i think positive influences r good lah..oso said that i m the only one who can handle his temperament (actually i agree hahaha no other woman can handle him as well as i do) =P
Somehow we mentioned abt how we met & i think its funny yet sweet to think back of the past hahah..he actually remember the details too =) about the purchasing of rivets & stuff..hahah..those were the days..all along i thought he forgot alot of the memories we shared..i m glad to noe that he dint =)
Please let the bliss be consistent & lasting~

Its feels wonderful to be feeling good about urself..been a long time since i felt so..but i had that feeling again yesterday..why do i say so? cos i had a crappy day..not enuf sleep since Macau trip, came back still cant get to sleep, both legs injured cos i fell off the stairs n the pain is killing me, bad cramps n pms, etc..for all these i m supposed to be feeling like shit rite? but i dint..in fact i felt good abt myself & all these doesnt stop me from feeling happy..even when i was walking back home last nite, i felt the way i carry myself reminded me of wat i was in the past..i hope that me is really coming back..if thats the case i'll be super super super happy!!! =)
I've to make sure this positive feeling last till i m fully ok~

He called to ask me about my leg injury despite being with his dad & customer drinking..was surprised cos its been quite long since he did that during work..really heart-warming.. brought a smile to my face after i put down the phone hehe..oso said he'll helped me wif it tonite..whee~ =D Anyway, yesterday my dad rubbed it for me & i was literally tearing in pain..i cant rem the last time i teared due to pain..that was how painful my wound is =~( screamed when daddy rubbed it & think i heard mum laughin from the toilet when she heard my screams..duh~but still i m glad that i have my loved ones taking turns to help me wif the injury cos i dun dare to rub it myself..the pain is too intense for me to take..

My injury..the whole area was dented (think i hurt the bone) & the bruise covered such a big portion of my left leg..i have not mention the sprain on my right ankle..the real thing looks scarier than the picture actually..hahahah.. (ay why am i laughing about this~ fainted)

Juz came back from Macau..had a good trip wif the gals =D will juz briefly jot down wat happened during the trip now..details will be coming soon after i consolidate the pictures from all cameras~hehe..

We stayed at The Venetian during the trip..the hotel is fantastic! i was mesmerized by the building when i reached the place..its really beautiful..think Macau is really mini version of Las Vegas casinos everywhere..the thing that disappoint me was that there isnt much places to shop in Macau =( n its freaking difficult to get a cab on Macau streets..

1st day: had a quick lunch cum dinner then headed to Macau Fisherman's Wharf which is like a theme park consisting of retail shops, bars n entertainment venues..after which we return to The Venetian to shop at the Grand Canal Shoppes within the hotel..the shopping mall reminds me of Paragon, which means i will not spend $ buying the expensive branded stuff over there..ended up juz window shopping til the shops closed..had an early nite as all of us were deadbeat from the plane journey & walking..

2nd day: first destination was Senado Square..the main square is paved wif a wave-pattern stone mosaic that extends frm Senado Sq to St Paul's..there r some shops at Senado Sq so we walked along the stretch til we reach The Ruins of St Paul's..in the heart of the old city stands the great carved stone facade of St Paul's that was remained of the first church & college of the Jesuits in China..along we saw a few churches & really felt that the architects there r truly beautiful.. Left for Macau tower after Senado Sq..the tower is the 10th highest in the world..it's an elegant construction offerin a paranomic views all over Macau..u can actually do bungee junp & skywalk there..but i dun hav the guts to do so =P we ended the nite watching "Zaia" performed by Cirque Du Soleil..Zaia is a circus show that highlights dance, movement & aerial aecrobatics..super fascinated by the show..

3rd day: went to Zhu Hai but i think we miscalculated the time so dint have much time shopping around (i wanna go again!! cos i noe that i'll definitely enjoy the place alot if i've more time n money there) anyway,bought some stuff & kanna scolded by Shir cos i kept buying things for family & him instead of myself =P hahah..

4th day: had a good dim sum breakfast & did some last min shopping at the hotel..when we reached airport typhoon no.3 hosted but luckily the plane wasnt delayed..had a super uncomfortable journey back cos of the turbulences caused by the typhoon..but overall i loved the trip wif the gals =D

I realized thruout the whole journey the gals r really taking good care of me..always making sure that i m enjoyin, not feelin bored, not feelin hungry, n always givin the best stuff to me..all juz wanna ensure i enjoy the trip hehe..Shir told me once that everytime she's wif me she feel like taking gd care of me..hahah i think the rest of the gals felt so too? n yes i really love the feeling of being taken care of =D

He came n fetch me from the airport after work..i appreciate everything for the nite..esp the part where he helped me rub the injury hee =) (oh i fell off the stairs at Macau airpot juz before i board the plane) n he seemed to like the pressies i got for him..think he felt the same way as the gals too that why i m not buyin stuff for myself, cos he said this trip was supposed for me to enjoy myself how come i ended up buying things for everyone else except myself..oops =P (ok lesson learnt, will try to think more for myself in my next trip hehe) i hope its not my hallucination, cos i felt from his tone he felt 心疼 seeing me not pampering myself..anyway, we ended the nite sweet~ =)
I love the way things are goin between us lately..so please let this bliss last~

I dunno when will be my next trip overseas..but i m super looking forward to it~
I promised that i'll love myself more & not always puttin everyone else in front of me..will try to live more for myself..

Here are some of the pics taken for the trip..i'll upload more on Facebook after i consolidate all the photos..hehe.. =)

The gals~ Huiping, Shiryee, XingJuan, Davina
At Singapore Budget Terminal

The hotel where we stayed - The Venetian (beautiful place)

Macau streets..welcome to Macau~

Senado Square..weather was freaking hot that afternoon

Portugese egg tarts..one of the best tarts i ever had~ yummy!!

Ruins of St Paul's..magnificent piece of architect

Lego figure of Macau Tower

At the grand staircase in front the Ruins of St Paul's

After watching Zaia..the heart-shaped balloon given at the end of the show =)

This is the interior of The Venetian..look so much like outdoor..

While waiting for the plane back..super tired looks..hahah..yawn~

I am so happy!! finally after so long we r having pillow talks =) yesterday before sleeping i was tellin him about my wkend when he was not around..after few mins of babbling non-stop was thinking whether he was bored by my stuff so asked him about it..he said no & asked me to tell him my stuff so that he'll know..all along when i dun say out he doesnt know..be it i m happy or unhappy i dun share much so he's not aware..told him i m worried that he might be tired or bored by my stuff when he's thinking about work..but he said he wont..cos if i dun tell him wats happening in my life he wont know..so he said in future ask me to tell him watever i wish to say..delighted to know that he's actually concerned about wats happening in my life..i m happy that we r communicating =D i dunno how to describe how glad i felt last nite...
Please let this happiness last~

I havent done any packing at all & tmr is my Macau trip..omg~how last min can i be..haha..Had a hard time finding a digicam for my trip..i should have juz bought it when i had the impulse previously!! finally borrowed one frm Yongxin..hehe..i m going to take lotsa pictures for this trip!! stay tune folks~ =D

Ever since the talk on sunday,my mum seems to start thinking abt wat i told her..which i think is a good thing..i really dun wish to see her always making herself unhappy in the family cos of dad & bro..think she was really surprised by me for speaking out my mind..there r times i need to let her see the facts & stop making herself miserable..its really heartbreaking to see her so unhappy till her health suffers..told her i love her n she has been a great mum so dun be too hard on herself..i think she has been talking to me in a nicer tone since then =P maybe she knows how much it hurts for me to always be the venting person whenever she's pissed with them..

Had another talk with her last nite when i got home..told me abt wat she might want to do when she feels that my bro is matured enuf to take care of himself (which i think that day wont come anytime soon) glad to hear that from her..she really need to think more for herself..she was telling me alot of stuff that dad did to hurt her ever since they were together (hearing all these from young is one of the reason i have phobia in marriage) i think she really went thru alot hardships since young..really wish she can start living for herself & be happy..women should be treasured no matter which stage of relationship they r in..

Jan sent me a few Super Junior clips to watch during lunch..they never fail to make me smile =) i really really want to watch their concert live!! anyone can grant me this wish? =P
and i juz received new songs to add to my playlist..woohoo~ =D

I think the sms he sent me last nite when he reach home from the trip was super sweet~ hehe =D

I really need someone to be here for me now~
Its really tough to be alone most of the time when needed someone to be there =~(

Woke up early yesterday at his place & had breakfast with his mum while he was still sleeping..chatted for quite awhile..got abit affected by the conversation but decided not to brood over it..
He woke up quite late so rushed to get his car then head back to office before he head to msia for his business trip with Raymond..on the way he wanted to buy lunch for me,but looking at the time i noe he was already very late so told him i'll settle myself..actually the nite before i was planning to have a good breakfast with him before he leaves for the trip, but i had no chance to tell him as he was back home very late, plus the fact tat dun wan him to rush..i should have juz said it out rite? silly me always keeping things to myself..alot times dint wan to say out cos i dun wish him to disrupt his work schedule bcos of me..sigh..where to find such a good gf~hahah..

Almost slept my whole sat away so woke up early today..called to book for facial appt at 3pm..cant rem when was the last time i went for a facial..need to pamper my skin more even though i think my complexion is not bad =P hehe..i love doing facials =) He juz msged me from msia asking if i've anything in mind to buy he'll buy for me..happy to get that msg =D i was hoping for something i can use or keep cos been quite sometime since i received those kinda presents frm him..actually at that point of time, i was hoping i can be there buying the things together with him =P

Asked my mum about the luggage issue..i really dun understand how come my mum can practise favourtism till such an extend..i really really dun understand =~( sob & she juz admitted to me tat yes she dun dare to lose temper at my bro at all even she's pissed off at the ridiculous requests he made..i know tat i shouldnt be too upset abt it..but i cant help when she is so 偏心..others will never believe how extreme her 偏心can get..n alot of times the words she uses can be very destructive..i think brothers r very bad for our self-esteem..
Anyway,watching 古灵精探B..it's really funny & i love the pple working at D.I.E. hahahah =D their jokes can crack me up like nobody's business..but i had a frustrating time loading the videos..i want a new laptop!!!

I wished..i can have more chances to replenish my sleep like yesterday...
I wished..i made the right decisions in my life regardless of what aspects...
I wished..he will msg me more in everyday life when he has the time...
I wished..my mum will appreciate what i've done for her...

Went to Tampines One Sushi Tei to have welcome lunch for our new member in the team Alexis..think she need to get used to the madness of our team =P i love Sushi Tei~ i ate so much tat i m feeling super sleepy now..yawn~ i need plenty plenty of sleep!

Ever since my mum's call i've been pondering should i still go for the Macau trip..feeling abit sian =( Shir called last nite, said she did the calculations, ask me not to worry & go ahead wif the trip..scolded me tat i've deprived myself too much for too long already..its juz a short trip wif the gals to relax & i deserve the break..so think i'll still go for the trip..

Been wantin to tell him abt it but no chance cos he was wif customers last nite..sometimes feel like sharin more stuff wif him, but his work is busy & taxing so i always tell myself to be understanding not to giv him any further stress..i'll always wait before updating him my stuff cos i dun wan to disturb him when he's working..m i askin for too much if i wish tat we can communicate & talk more? another thing on my wish list is to go for overseas trips wif him, i noe its tough given his hectic schedule..i hope this wish will come true someday =)

I noe this sounds silly..but these thoughts suddenly crossed my mind..i wish i can b well taken care of..i wish i dun need to worry so much for my family..i wish that i m pampered like a princess by my loved ones..i supposed this is the 小女人side of me..but well its silly lah..its juz some random thoughts haha..cos i noe i should be jolly well takin care of myself & i m capable of doing so..
好想有个可以任性和撒娇的地方~

Anyway, this picture was taken quite sometime ago..
Love the black & white effect of the photo =)

Taking a short break for lunch so decided to blog..feel like havin comfort food so having LJS nw =) wif add on skin-on potato chips..catching up abit on HK drama now while eating..

Yesterday met up wif him after work..he called up & initially wanted to meet up for dinner..but i think i was whiny bcos of the call from my family previously so dint end the call in a happy note..after tat met up at Tamp Mall cos i need to buy a pair of slippers as mine snapped..when we met up he was juz jokingly teasing me abt the chat we had on the phone previously but i think i got abit defensive & upset..ended up buying MOS burger & fishcake home for dinner..

After tat went petrol station juz to buy my fav ice cream..but i think i was still sulking..so he actually initiate to tell me some stuff..he asked why i've to harp on the teasing part n b unhappy & yet ignored the positive part tat he actually went to Tamp Mall, parked the car, came up to fetch me acc me buy dinner then bought ice cream & go home together to enjoy dinner with each other's company..

Actually i was abit surprised when he said that..cos usually he'll juz keep quiet whenever things happened..but to a certain extend i felt happy =) cos finally after so long we r having real talks, rather than always juz keepin mum to avoid quarrels whenever we feel unhappy abt wat happened..so i decided to curb my usual defensive mode & listen patiently to wat he said..n yes it make sense..to me communication is very impt cos we get to express how we feel & let the other person noe wat we r thinkin..when we talk to each other nicely abt wat we r unhappy about, the other party will listen & think rationally..
In fact, wat he told me was really wat i've been thinkin abt recently isnt it..focusin on the right things not to make myself unhappy..whole journey back other than the teasing part,he was really nice to me, but i overlooked tat & keep harpin on the wrong issue..i felt so bad abt it esp when he still talk to me nicely, insisting he wasnt angry juz telling me so i wont keep makin myself upset..i think both of us changed alot..our temper & the way we handled things..n i believe both r changing for the better =)

Thanks to the talk, i felt alot better when we reached home..not only i straighten out my thoughts, the communication feeling feels great too..he brought his laptop out to dining rm n we watched 绝代商娇while eating dinner..funny show & the leading guy is really very very smart in the show..i think 黄子华is the only guy in HK tv serials tat is likeable even though he doesnt has a fine-looking face =P he's really funny..i think intellectual men r so much more attractive than juz plain good-lookin guys..think the tension was gone when we got home..we were laughin hard at the show & sharin a tub of Ben's & Jerry ice cream after dinner =)
I wish..i can spend more quality time with him..

I m glad tat i've pple ard me who hav always been helping me to pick myself up when i slump for the past year..
I will be a better person..i've confidence in myself =) the Juan that used to be bringin laughters & having positive influences to the pple ard me will be back..focus gal..focus...

Worked late on fri nite..The gals called me ard 7+ saying wanna come find me for dinner..so they came all the way from Queensway Ikea to my office to pick me up..hahah..omg touched..this is how far gfs will do for one another hehe..met up had dinner together..when i finished dinner smsed him but no reply i guessed he dozed off, so decided to catch a midnite show wif the gals..we were lucky to get quite good seats despite buyin tickets last min..watched "The Ugly Truth" a romantic comedy film starring Katherine Heigl and Gerard Butler..we had a fun time laughin seein the differences in thinkin of men & women in the show =D after tat went hme & watch online shows til 5 in the morning..
The next few shows i wanna watch is "The Time Traveller's Wife" & "The Sister's Keeper", felt enticed to watch them after readin the reviews & seein the thrillers..

Woke up ard noon on sat..dint hear from him so decided to call him..he was still at office & told me he'll b goin to customer's office for lunar 7th mth dinner..called me a few times to update me his schedule & i really really appreciate that..i think its nice & sweet for pple to update their other half of wat they r doin..its helps in keepin the other half more secured..i'll do so constantly too..
Since i m free,met up wif Shir for dinner at civic centre's mac..halfway thru Zhen msged so last min decided to meet up & play mahjong..we started the game after dinner & i won the most for the nite =P lady luck seems to b shining on me =)

I did not sleep a wink on sat nite so i knocked out on sunday late noon after accompanyin my mum for grocery shopping..he called once ard 6+ when i was napping but i think i was so tired i cant rem a single thing i told him on the phone (tat was how tired i am)..his sis called me ard 9+ askin if i goin over but i was still too tired to respond to her & when i finally got myself out of bed to call him back it was already 10pm..so after the talk wif him on the phone both think it's too late for me to travel alone again..i noe tat he felt like seeing me but appreciate the thought tat he dint wan me to take a cab there alone..actually a part of me felt like seein him too cos havent saw him for days but another part of me agreed tat its abit late to meet up today..so decided to meet up tml instead..

My bro juz came into my room..passing me the stuff he bought for me from his Bangkok trip wif his gf..seems like they really had a good shopping trip..makes me feel like going too..anyway,he bought me 2 pouches (pink & purple), 2 sleeveless tops (black & grey), 1 pair of slippers & a few packets Winnie the Pooh travel pack tissues (cos he noes i like tat series) n the pictures r really cute! i wonder if i'll use them at all..
I rem bk oso bought me some pooh tissues when he saw them in KL last mth =P

I wish..that me & the pple who r important to me will be more expressive in our thoughts...
I wish..i can go overseas trip with my bf too...
I wish..i can be healthier & happier...

I cant explain why but i suddenly had the urge to change my blog skin template..felt that the old template can be easily associated wif stuff in the past tat i dun wish to think about..n to a certain extend i felt tat a new blog skin signifies a new start from this point of my life..

I chose a simple blog skin & hope tat i'll light up this blog with my entries..I instantly felt better & soothed after seeing the new blog skin =) i hope that my blog will b a place where i pin down my thoughts & happenings in life, not juz an outlet to vent my frustrations when i dun feel like talkin to anybody..i hated reading my posts backwards cos everytime when i do so i felt the pull at my heart..so i juz set my blog homepage settings to show entries that r after the very low period of my life..bcos this thing called emotions, i dun really wan to feel it anymore..

I realized i really need to focus on the right things..there r some things in this life that r important & a whole lot that arent important..we r responsible for everythin in our lives..we create our experiences by our thoughts n our feelings..no person, no place & no thing has any power over us..when we create positive feelings in our mind,we'll find it in our lives..I have the power to choose what i want to think..n we all need to have faith in life..i feel that faith is daring the soul to go beyond what the eyes can see..so,when fear knocks at ur door, answer it with faith..

I treasure this moment now when i m feeling good & i m going to be here..not anywhere in the past..i will b a better person..for myself & the pple around me who really care for me..
n i hope pple around me will cherish me as wat i am..

Had team lunch at Say Cheeze today for Kelly's farewell as she'll b transferring to adsales..as usual me & Ching had a great time taking random pics =P
I love taking pics wif loved ones~
Its a pity tat a few of my loved ones dun really like taking pics =(

I suspect tat i had minor food poisoning or stomach flu..ever since sunday nite my tummy felt weird..n monday morning when i reached office i puked my breakfast out & felt giddy whole day..after lunch i again puked my lunch out..
Shir called me ard late noon heard tat i was like that she actually came over to my workplace to pass me isotonic drink & offer to send me back..wah, i think if she's a guy sure alot gals die in her hands =P hahah..

Went for company's sneak preview of the movie "Gamer" at Cineleisure last nite..i've 2 free tickets for the show so i asked him on monday nite if he's keen on watching it..actually dint pin too much hopes on him saying yes cos he has been busy..but he said should b ok unless he need to work OT cos he need to stay to lock the office after everyone leaves..so yest afternoon i smsed him to ask if he still can make it but no reply..called him after work asked he said he replied ok to my msg but i dint receive it..haiz..he told me he still in office will rush down later..so i went down wif Jan they all to collect the tickets 1st..

Reached Cine & collected the tickets..they actually gav us a free goodie bag consisting of AXN Beyond premiums..which i think i've most of them already =P he reached 10mins earlier so we met at level 6 to get food..we bought popcorns, nachos & skin-on potota chips (yes my tummy not feelin too gd so dun pity me if i puke myself to death hahah)

After the movie we were both so tired so decided juz to head straight hme..the movie was so-so..not as fantastic as i expected =( but nvm i enjoyed the process of watchin the movie =)

On our way back,his colleague called then i realized he actually left the office earlier & ask her to lock the office for him so he can make it for the movie premiere..upon hearing tat i felt bad for asking him to come so i actually said sorry to him..he looked stunned n asked me y say sorry cos not my fault..hmm i oso dunno y the sorry came out of me..he mentioned he promised me the previous nite he'll make it he will make it de..at tat point felt happy & sweet cos i think i really love the feeling of promises being kept as i hated empty promises since young..
after tat i asked him if next time i've such movie premiere lobangs will he wanna come again? he said ok ah..which i think i was abit surprised cos i always tot he dun like to join my co events..so i felt glad to hear his answer =)

I think i m happy last nite..and i think to most gals..when they feel loved, they love more in return isnt it..i'll hav to start to focus on the right things..i need & will use little things in life to sustain the positive feelings..

I hav to keep the faith tat i've started to get back bit by bit..I have to..

ooh..Shir msged me this morning..she got the job!! felt so happy for her!! =D she'll b starting her new job in Oct..i told her i'll 养 her for another mth then she say i m at advantage cos i juz 养 her for past half yr & she'll 养 me back for the rest of my life =P wahahahah..

Had a chat wif a fren whom has not contacted me for quite long..chatted abt the issues tat hav been bothering me for sometime..i actually felt better after the chat..probably i got to view the issues frm another perspective so i can try to think of them logically instead of using my emotions to evaluate..

I love eating Ben & Jerry's ice cream in Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough n the one who bought me the ice cream..

Went to msia wif the gals over the wkend..3 of us..Zhen was not really in a good state so decided to hav a short getaway wif her..it was so last min decision so i actually dint bring anythin wif me hahah..the wkend was juz rest, relax, eat, chat..Zhen told me her cousin rem me as 'the pretty one' hahah tats a compliment hee..& the whole trip the gals keep saying i smell nice hahah probably my scent attract gals? juz wanna say tat i m glad we gals hav one another in our lives =) gfs rocks~

Sometimes i really wished..tat i dunno alot of things..to noe some stuff, tat is enough to shake the faith i m startin to get back..i think i need more assurance to keep it goin..
Anyway, dun wan to dwell on stuff for too long..mayb it wasnt as bad as i thought..or actually those stuff wasnt such a big deal at all..

So, here r the few pics taken over the wkend..

Zhen & Juan
Zhen, Shir , Juan
The 3 long overdue doggy keychains..Juan, Shir, Zhen

Self entertaining while waiting for Zhen

Trying out the anti-shake & auto-focus in Shir's moving car