had a great wkend..went over to malaysia wif dear..last min decision..fri nite asked me i tot he not serious..but sat confirm liao juz anyhow packed take passport n go..hahah..

ard late morning went into JB..went to Danga Bay for lunch at the restaurant there..the food quite nice..after that went to Kota Tinggi Rainforest resort..the place quite wulu..feels like the days when i lived in kampong when i was young..but the resort condition wasnt that gd..so we decided not to stay overnite at the resort..so we went to the famous watefall near the resort..initially only planning to go juz take a look..but in the end reach there saw the scenery buay tahan..went to buy a set of extra clothings to get into the water..the rocks r slippery n the water is cold..haha..dear dare to go directly under the waterfall but i dun dare haha..i juz stayed at the safe area enjoyin the breeze n water..hee..he's so considerate..so scared n worry i'll slip n fall so keep holding on to me..can feel he really cares..keke..

after that went back to the resort n took a shower..then went to the fireflies forest to c fireflies..oso near to the resort..haha..the fireflies juz stay on the trees..makin the trees like xmas trees..hee..we took a boat ride to c the fireflies lah..cant really get too close to the trees..sigh..but it was nice n sweet..

after the fireflies seeing,took a cab back to JB..ate at taman garden..the food there was GREAT!! til nw i still i'll drool thinkin abt the food there..had a really full dinner..after that went stay overnite at The Zon Hotel..there was a club there beside the hotel..seems happening..but we too tired liao so juz went back n sleep haha..watched tv for awhile b4 sleeping lah..hehe

mornin woke up went to the hotel's cafe for breakfast..the food is quite gd..i always loved hotel's breakfast..alot variety to choose from..after that went to pelangi shop..after that went city sq shop again til both so exhausted shopping..then went to a massage parlour for a full body massage..after that had dinner n went back hme..wif big & small bags hahaha..but i think i was the one keep buying..oops..

reach hme ard 8+ at nite..exhausted..but dear so sweet..dunno y he damn sweet over the last wkend..super sweet..heehee..

dear, thanks for the getaway trip..although its short,but i enjoyed alot..muacks muacks..

been feeling quite restless lately..wats the problem wif me..think i gotta b even stronger to handle the stress from work..if not work will bring me down one day..

i think my mum is happy yet stressed to c him..cos everytime he visit my place he'll buy lotsa nice & fattening food for her..she cant resist the food but she wanna go on diet..dilemma..haha..nw she noes how i feel..y izzit i wanna stay slim yet keep on eating n eating..CBK all ur fault lah..sob sob..keep wanting to make me fat..but i noe its bcos he cares lah..he always wan me to enjoy nice & delicious food..esp after a hard day of work, i noe he juz wan me to enjoy a gd meal..but i m growing fatter..argh~thats the sad part..sob =~(

after the quarrel i think both of us can handle this relationship better..more sensitive towards each other's feelings & more tolerant to accept flaws..i think it takes both to put it effort in a relationship esp in the long run..one sided effort is not enough.. i can c both of us puttin in more effort in it..i noe there'll still b problems in the future, but i believe that if we both put in effort in maintaining, it will work out fine..

wat a monday..fr the min i stepped into office..no break at all til almost 3pm then i had my lunch break..tummy in riots..too bz..the backlog stuff..then best part is when i was on leave last fri, they created a mess for me to clear..haiz..wat to do..the rest dun really noe how to use the software yet..everythin gotta wait for me to come back..juz do bah..

miss my dear alot..last nite watched Ars match til i dozed off..not an interesting match..wonder wat was the full time score..yawn~

i rem i once ask him..wat u like abt me..he juz told me he like me as wat i m..cos i m unique n no one else can b similar to me..(the plus pt is i m his type lah) hahah.. the uniqueness that he mentioned made me feel special..

last wk was real tough for us..the cold war that was resulted fr the quarrel lasted for one full wk..we did not contact at all for the one whole wk..that was terrible rite..plus the stress that i was goin thru at work made everythin worse..

thanks to his pals..Wenliang,KaiJun,Coconut & Joan..kiat is blessed to hav frens like them..fr the 1st nite we quarrelled til the day we patch things up..they r pple who tried all means to help us..

Wenliang-thanks for the console & helping us to break the ice..even though u gotta work next day but still tryin so hard to help me & kiat during the period..thanks again (dun say i m ah gua,cos i really meant wat i said,i really appreciate k)

KaiJun-always the kindest & softest soul of all..thanks for the calls & keepin me informed of wat's happening when i was at dbl O..thanks for the encouragin words n confidence u hav in me & kiat..

Coconut-i noe he was enjoyin himself that nite..but bcos of me & kiat,gotta interupt his fun n call me several times..putting in gd words for kiat haha..

Joan-kiat's gal fren..a sweet lady..called me 1 of the nites ard midnite..tryin so hard to help out in me & kiat patchin things up..in the end ended up chattin abt her relationship woes (gals)..haha..but her call somehow soften my heart..thanks gal..had a great chat over the phone that nite..

well, nw things r fine btw us le..he's even more sweet to me..keke..

been so tired lately..last fri took leave to send bro for his enlistment at tekong..think i m old already..i feel so tired for the 4-hr orientation at tekong..almost fell asleep when their commander was giving a talk at the auditorium..OMG..lucky 2 of my brother's frens in the same bunk as him..at least can take care of one another bah..but my mum been missin him badly since friday..think every mum feels the same when their sons get enlisted bah..

fri nite met up wif shir,zhen they all for ktv at partyworld..been so long since the clique went out for ktv session..we all sang well..hahah..full of laughters..miss the feeling of it..and as usual jinfeng asked me,zhen & yee to find a corner n talk cos the 3 of us too engrossed in chatting neglecting the guys..hahah..

after tat went hme ard 2+..after bathing already 3 le..next day still gotta work..sat leh..sianz..call jie b4 i went to sleep..he still at MOS..the celebration thingy loh..then his frens wun let him leave..sigh..then i went to sleep 1st..

he waited at my office for quite long for me til i knock off..went lunch wif his sisters n mum then went over to his place..but the past wk haven been sleeping well so both juz knocked out..haha..but i rem b4 i nap he whispered some real sweet stuff into my ears..aww~melted my heart..but i was too tired to rem every single thing he said..think gonna ask him abt it again when both of us r fully awake..hahah..

been so stressed up lately at work..everyday working alone til wee hrs in office..hope the backlog stuff can b done by next wk..tml will b on leave to send bro to tekong for his enlistment..lesser time for me to do my work..but no matter wat, my family is more impt than work..hack-care the work part 1st..the most i'll work longer on sat..think i might miss my bro presence at hme after he enlist, but think this is a gd time for him to learn to take care of himself..all along my mum pamper him too much le lah..he muz learn how to take care of himself..if not how to take care of his future wife wor..hahah..

last wk was quite tough..all the shits from work..the quarrel wif him..but keep forcing myself to b strong..while working, received a bouquet of flowers from dearie..it was a surprise..wasnt expecting that..instantly brighten my day..he noe that i'll b working late again last nite but he wasnt available to fetch me fr work..so he booked a cab in advance, asked angie to pass me a letter informin me abt the on-call thingy..after work i had a cab waitin for me right at my office doorstep to bring me home safe n sound..sounds sweet?keke..thanks dear..i appreciate it..

The bouquet that brighten up my day

I am super stressed up lately..the new software is killing me..and i m doing all the backlog all by myself..boss expects me to get everything done by next monday..argh..i cant even cope wif the simpliest stuff..i m still so new to the software..how to managed without any help..made a few mistakes,which made work even more tedious for me..boss unhappy abt it..but pls lah,how to expect a flawless job when everyone is new to the software..the new software is so not user-friendly..i think i was so stressed that i nearly broke down twice in the washroom this wk..but no choice..work has to be done..juz gotta do it no matter how frustrated i feel..n i think i m feeling worse due to the argument wif him..argh..y is everythin seem to be falling apart?

Many times when problems surface, i choose to let them pass me by bcos of the thoughts that things will b better..but i noe no matter how hard i pretend nothing had happened,i cannot avoid the misery..i tried to be happy,i try not to make a mountain out of a molehill..but the more i try the more i lose control of my heart..

Just these few days, my days seemed good..but whenever i wanna go on with this good mood,something will happen & screw up my entire day n mood..i feel wrecked..i m tired of all these feelings..
I wish that everytime i cry, my tears will lessen so one day my tears will dry up & i wun get affected anymore..but during the process, will people around me get numbed to my tears, n wun feel anythin anymore whenever i tear..when will i reach the threshold for pain & sadness..y things hav to happen again n again..

I am weary..Delusion of things juz gonna get better..but reality explained otherwise..For a moment i thought i m going to be fine again, things juz fall apart..do i have the strength to stand up over n over again..The more i tell myself everythin gonna b fine, the more despondent i get..

wonder when will life get better & break free from all the emotional torments..

I think its not perfume..its the smell that i was so used to for yrs..how could i hav forgotten abt that..sigh..in delusion again..

lately i've been working OT practically everyday..sigh..no OT pay somemore..stupid system of the company..should i stay or should i leave..been askin myself this question for quite sometime..but i dun hav an answer to it..the new software sucks big time..it makes work flow slower..shouldnt they choose a software that map into our workflow instead of choosin one that increase the steps to get things done?wonder wat they thinkin..i think this software suits big organizations wif alot staff n depts..not for SMEs like us..we'll need quite sometime to get use to the new software..

i think i've been kpo *slap myself* i went to read her blog..think she still loves him..actually they've broken up for quite sometime by right i shouldnt feel that way..but fr the things she wrote i can feel that she still love him & not able to forget him..he's still in her heart..should i tell him that..i dunno her..but somehow her words on her blog touched my heart..i can feel how sad she is not being able to get him out fr her heart..my fren said that i m stupid..told me this..
"she's his past..they muz hav broken up bcos of their differences which cant b resolved..wat for u feel bothered by how she feels..she's not even ur fren.."

but i juz feel weird to noe that my guy's ex is still feelin so strong for him..how will he feels if he noes abt this now..initial stage he told me that he know his ex still feels for him(his frens told him),but he dun feel anythin for her anymore..she's a past in his life..but y izzit that i still feel so insecure..cos after so long she still loves him alot..i think this is y i m feelin insecure bah..
i noe he treats me well..i can c the efforts he put in this relationship..mayb wat i shall do nw is to b more confident of him & myself..i'll try..i promise...

i think i've been too tired lately..ever since CNY starts..my hrs of sleep everyday is pathetic..feeling quite sick lately..served me right for not getting enuf sleep..ha..

lately been clearing my rm slowly..saw some cards that PY gav me over the yrs..miss her company..those were the days..miss the way she comfort me wif soothing tone,miss the times we met up n gossip at cwp,miss the way she stood up for me whenever things happened..she will always be more angry than me whenever anyone bullied me..haha..i noe things has been tough for her lately..hope that a new yr will mark an end to her unhappy stuff in life..miss her alot..