Finally i had some decent rest..phew..its a sat & i slept til late noon..think been drainin my body too much..i hope i can hav more of days like this..juz sleep til watever time i wan..no need to go work..not thinkin or vexin abt anything..been sooo long since i can rest like this..work has been tedious & schedule has been hectic..well, all of us need to recharge ourselves once in a while isnt it..& i m glad tat i've the chance to do so..

The whole wk has been a bz one..cos of the overload of logs due to the holidays..but i've to say tat i m lucky to hav nice frens at work..they made work life much more enjoyable & most of the time i dun find goin to work a hassle..so i've been working hard on the logs..

Mon & Tue he wasnt in the mood to work..wanted to meet me but i was too tied down by work..so on Mon he ended up meeting wif tuatao for makan & games..Tue was wendy's bday..think cos of the tension of the quarrels he had wif his dad..me & his mum hav to do arrangements & plannin for dinner..so while rushing my work in office i was makin calls & smses to coordinate for the nite..so decided to hav dinner at Tampines..after work i went straight to Tamp & make reservations for 6 at Jack's Place..he went back to fetch his family & i waited for them at CS's Jacks Place..as expected both his & his dad's faces as solemn as ever..but me & the mum juz chatted within ourselves..after tat went back to his place & we had a cake-cuttin session for wendy..she was so happy to c the presents we gave her..& we all had an early xmas exchange tat nite..his mum was sweet to buy me a winnie the pooh storage case..i had always wanted to buy tat but cant bear to part wif the money haha..appreaciate his mum's thoughts..he slept quite early but i had a chat wif his mum in the living rm til quite late..i noe the mum also dunno wat to do wif him lah..there's always tension at home when things happen at work..sigh..

Wed was xmas eve..reached office immed can feel the joyous mood in the air..when i reached my desk i already saw alot of presents frm colleagues on my desk..awww so sweet of them..so whole morning most pple in office wasnt working..walking ard the office for xmas gift exchange & chattin..i only settled down & started on my work ard 11am..spent almost 2hrs skiving hahah..whole office was like tat..since lunch i heard pple frm other dept startin their xmas celebrations liao..was abit distractin but i've to force myself to work & complete my stuff in time..managed to finish all my stuff ard 5+..phew~ then its when the havoc starts..they were opening port wines & we all started drinkin & makin merry muahahahah..most of us drank til high..hee..we all had fun & i think were really noisy..but i think the whole office was in xmas mood so nobody cares..hahah..i had so so much fun in office that day.. =D

Ard 7+ he called asked me where i m..told him i m still in office..he asked if i wanna hav dinner wif his family for xmas..so i said ok..initially i was supposed to go to the lobster porridge place to meet them by myself..but 10mins later, he called..ask me to wait for him at Tampines instead said the dad decided to change place bcos of me (but i dunno how true was that lah) ended up pick me up at Tamp & went to Serangoon for hotpot..after tat he sent his family back hme & asked me if i've any plans in mind..i told him no cos no matter where we go sure packed..he kept askin if i've any place i wanted to go he'll acc me..but i really hav no cravin to go anywhere tat nite..so we decided that we'll go separate ways for the nite..he'll go meet tuatao they all & i go meet my gfs..he kept askin will i be angry if we dun spend the xmas eve together but i assured him i wont..i noe he has been stressed lately so i rather he spend some time wif his frens to chill out..& i can go hav fun wif my frens too..he said he still wish meet me after tat so passed me his hse keys for keepsake as we dunno wat time individual side events will end..

He sent me to St James to meet up wif eileen they all..dropped me & he went to meet tuatao they all straight i supposed..i met up wif eileen & vivien at Movida but subsequently suah to Boiler (i always like Boiler's music)..but eileen was quite drunk tat nite..Janice joined us after the movie & we were quite pissed off wif some patrons there..cos there were a few times when a few ah nehs tried to come near to us..argh..we juz want to hav some space by ourselves so we were abit harsh on them =P..left the place ard 4+..shared a cab wif Jan back to his place..i juz msged him told him i goin back cos i assumed he wont be back tat early if they r playin games at Katong..so i reached le..took a shower & concussed in bed..think i was too tired plus i had too much of drinks tat nite since office hrs..he called me using tuatao's phone ard 7 told me his hp batt flat & he's reachin home soon..but i was too tired plus abit of hangover i fell back to zzz after puttin down the phone..he reached hme took a shower..wanna wake me up for mac's breakfast but i was too tired to even keep my eyes open..next thing i noe, its 1pm in the afternoon..omg..

Woke up ard 1+ on xmas day..saw his watchin tv wif wendy in the living rm..had carrotcake for lunch then rot on the sofa wif them watchin tv too..watched Batman Returns on HBO..but still i prefer Christian Bale's version..esp Dark Knight was a classic..wif Heath Ledger..i watched the show twice but i dun mind a 3rd time hahha..after that his parents had BBQ for dinner so we all had a heaty dinner..he seemed more relax on tat day probably bcos it wasnt a working day..he was playin ard wif wendy thruout the dinner & even dragged me in..so ended up both of us had bruises over the arms cos went overboard..diaoz..after tat joined angie watchin Transformers on tv & that was another show i liked alot..Shia Labeouf is cute & Megan Fox is chio..the robots r cool too..durin the show he actually was leanin on my shoulder most of the time..which is so not him cos usually he's always so aloof & cold at hme..after we finished the show..went shower & went to bed..next morn he woke up wif a bad headache so took morn half off..ard lunchtime woke up & he drove me to bukit gombak for my appt & he left for office..

After my appt, went back home & went to Qetesh for facial hahah i noe i m pampering myself too much lately..but i think i've deprived myself too much for quite sometime..its time to pamper & love myself more..brought my mum there too..after tat reached hme watch tv til i dozed off on the sofa..ard 12 i received an sms frm an unknown no..asking me where i m & its frm him..told him i m at hme..he called sayin his hp batt flat again..told me he left his fren's wedding banquet & a few of them went Boat Quay for some drinks..said he wanted to go back hme but worried tat he cant wake up the next morn for work..asked me if he had spare casual clothes at my place so he can stayed over at mine for the nite..i told him he can try my brother's..then he ask me to wait up for him he'll be reachin in 30mins..so i ended up watching Arsenal & Aston Villa's match on tv wif my mama..she was so frustrated cos the ball possession most of the time was wif Aston Villa..hahah..she juz love Ars too much to accept that..but Ars scored & lead the game 1st..frm the way they r playin..i can say..that nite, Ars was damn heng & Aston Villa was suay..ahaha..cos i dun think Ars played well that nite..b4 the 1st half ends he reach my place..took a shower & went to bed..told me to wake him up early so we can go mac for breakfast..but i guessed most prob he cant de lah..he looked so tired..so i woke up slightly earlier & call mac delivery for breakfast..so when he is done changin & preparing to go work, the food come juz in time..so after breakfast he left for work & i went back to sleep til late noon hahahah..shiok to sleep late..

Actually i've been wondering, he has been wantin to eat Mac's breakfast so often lately was it bcos of me..cos i always like Mac breakfast (mayb cos it was the little time when i was young tat my dad will actually bring me out for mac breakfast)..cos he told me b4 tat he dun really hav the habit of eatin mac breakfast..but bcos of me he always brought me for mac breakfast during the initial courtship..mayb it was bcos of me, or mayb it was juz a habit out of the yrs being wif me..well i wont noe..& i dun think i wanna think too much abt tat..juz as long i noe he cares..sometimes like wat my frens said..he dun love me the way i wanted doesnt mean he dun love me..he's juz being a MCP & doesnt express well wif his words..come to think of it..if he dun love me, after being thru so much, he wont still be here le..sigh.mayb at this point of time i shouldnt think too much on anything..i juz need to heal frm the past & be a better person..

2008 is ending..only a few days left..2009 is approaching..i really look forward to 2009 cos it signify a new start..its enuf being so depressed & emo for the whole of 2008..enuf of torturing myself..i've wasted a whole yr being so low & depressed..this is juz so not me..not the XXJ i noe..its time to let go of the past & hav a new start..i hope the start of 2009 will be a turning point of my life..i dun wanna waste my time being upset & emo le..enuf is enuf..i realized alot of times nobody is makin me miserable, its my own thoughts that made myself so miserable for such a long time..I dun wanna b a helpless victim of my own thought,but rather a master of my own mind..i can control my mind de..i can discipline my thoughts..i m not so soft to let them control me de..tat phase i did lose control was bcos i became weak..no more of that weak Juan..i allow the weak Juan to stay weak for too long..i was the one who allow it to happen..but in fact i can actually control de..but i chose to let go of the reins & let my thought run wild ended up hurtin myself wif all those silly thoughts..i muz start regainin the strong me & start controllin my mind again..2009 shall indicates a new start..& this time round i muz do it..