I m in a freaking state of PMS-ing..i feel bloated..i feel lethargic..i feel the emotions thingy out of control again..why why why~ i hate this feeling..as if like i've no control over myself..i snapped at the taxi uncle who gave us attitude few days back (which i think scared Jan & Yong who were in the same cab wif me)..i snapped at a guy who tried to ask me out for concert..i snapped when i noe there r last min pull-outs at work on friday..i snapped at almost everything! argh izzit my problem or i m juz plain PMSing? will everything be back to normal in a few days time? i feel murderous & will kill the next person stepping on my toe..

I dun wan to be emotional..i hate this feeling! the more emotional i get, the lesser control i have over things..& this is so true..I need to be able to live wihout something in order to have it..Once i can let go of alot stuff, i m in a greater position of greater power..Why do i let feelings of insecurities hit me again! grrrr! for instance, he calls me everyday right after work, meet up wif me almost everyday, nothing is wrong, but still i feel insecure..I think he's right at times, he said alot times he really dunno wat to do to make me feel better..i agree wif him too..actually i do enjoy my time wif him,nothing happen but i juz will get struck by tinge of insecurities super easily..i feel myself so screwed up emotionally..i hope Jan is right..things will start get better when the PMS symptoms subside..i m still waiting..

Things being in a constant state of change, i need a healthy attitude towards letting go of old things & embracing the new..To create a healthy flow, i've to let go of stuff i dun wan..this applies to habits, old clothes, junk in the closet, unhappy memories & the list goes on..I need to let go of all the stuff i dun wan, wont use & dun need! I think my greatest problem is holding on to things that i dun wan or dun need & memories that caused me pains..i dun need them! but y m i holding on to them! my frens r right..i m somehow too stubborn to let go of things..which at the end of the day i m the only one suffering..nobody else will suffer if i hold grudges, feel angry, not forgiving, etc..i m the ONLY one suffering..& sad to say i brought these sufferings upon myself isnt it? Foo told me that day, life's too short to get unhappy & brood over past unhappiness..i know~ i really know~ but i juz dunno how to start doing it..one day i may feel perfectly fine & happy wif life, another day even nothing happens i'll sink into depressed mode..is this typical gemini character?

Actually our lives is a reflection of ourselves, the more love & beauty that we perceive, the more we r growing & the more we r becoming..So i need to instill more positive thoughts into my mind to replace the negative ones..i need to..i need to..