having very bad monday blues..haha..woke up wif a bad headache..wat a way to start a week..

friday went to WILD bar for dear's fren,Kaijun bday..been quite sometime since i saw him already..ha..again poor bday boy got 'forced' to drink alot..but he's still conscious to go back wif us after the drinking session..but i think Coconut & Tall Guy is half gone..haha..cos we were late & they started drinking 1st..less than 10 pple we finished 4 bottles of Chivas..aiyo..even i was abit high..but still managed to stay sane to leave the place..phew~til nw i still find that Kaijun is a mr nice guy..if not for his age i'll def intro him to my galfrens..gd catch..

sat was at dear's hse til evening when we went over to changi side to his grandma hse for her bday celebration..lucky jie's sisters Angie & Wendy were there..at least got someone to talk to then wont feel bored..after sometime they started playing "dai di" then wif forfeit..me & angie gotta go to the kitchen & get their forfeit food..we were so mean..we took food like pig's trotters,mushroom mixed wif lime & coleslaw,rojak mixed wif mashed potatoes & satay sauce,jelly wif veggie sauce,chicken wing wif coke,sour plum wif mashes potatoes,etc..damn gross..i think all who played will get diarrhoea the next day..hahaha..

sunday woke up early ard 7 in the morning..dear sent me to town to get somethin done til ard lunchtime then dear come fetch me back to his place..but on our way back got into a tiff..sigh..over the same issue..so many times le..i oso sianz on this issue liao..i noe i was wrong for not being caution..but his reaction oso made the whole situation worse..i think i m too tired & frustrated then ended up in a tiff..sigh~very upset..whole day at his place we nv talk..only until at nite went dinner wif his family..he started to help me wif the food to my plate..but still we both dint resume talking..dunno whether his parents noticed anot..i juz kept talking wif wendy & angie..hope his parents dint notice..ha..when we reach hme after sometime he tried to start a conversation wif me to solve the issue..but i think i was stubborn..i juz keep giving attitude & not wanting to talk abt it..then he told me that watever i m doing will not help in the situation,will only make it worse..but still i was obstinate..ended up in a bad quarrel..but after sometime i juz say i dun wanna talk abt anythin anymore juz told him i wan to go hme by myself..think after tat he soften & come pacify me..cos think he dun bear to c me leave on my own back hme..patch things up again after tat..but felt so tired after the quarrel..i m not someone who can take quarrels..to me its an exhaustion to the mind & body..everytime after a quarrel,i'll take very long time to recover even after things r ok..which i dun think is very gd..

oh ya,yee contacted me on sunday..initially i think juz wanna confirm whether i m meeting up wif them for dinner anot..but ended up chatted over the phone for more than half yr..haha..women ah~realized tat both of us hav the same prob..losing confidence in ourselves..we tend to glamourize our past & make ourselves feel bad abt the present..but i think my condition is worse cos my confidence level has taken a plunge to the bottom..i feel tat i m useless & i cant accomplish anything in life..i think i m such a failure..be it any aspects of my life..i wonder how can pick myself up & b more confident..i need help~argh..